To all the mamas out there trying to keep all the balls in the air and wondering if you’re enough, know that you ARE. I know we think we’re supposed to be the beauty, the brains, the CEO, the soccer mom, the “girl boss”, the trophy wife, the taxi driver, the gourmet chef, the maid, the smart – talented always available girlfriend. The list just goes on and on. We’re supposed to have it all, tied up neatly in a size zero package with a perfect hair and manicured nails. At least, that’s what society tells us anyways. That’s what our insecurities tell us.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve bought into that lie way too many times in my life. The one that says I’m not “woman” enough if I can’t do it all. That I’m not worthy of love if I do or don’t look a certain way. That I’m not good enough. I know I’m not the only one who has been out to lunch or coffee with a girlfriend and overheard her say, I really shouldn’t have dessert, but it’s okay. I worked out today. I deserve it.” And I’d be lying if I told you I’ve never thought the same thing. Why do we feel the need to earn the right to eat a cookie?
Here’s the truth. We’re rockstars. Working, cleaning, cooking and carpooling are just the icing on the cake of all of the things we as moms have going on each and every day. Being a mom myself and a single mom at that, I know what it’s like to think about the well-being of another above yourself 24/7.
Does this sound familiar? You’re burning both ends of the candle, rushing around from here to there, homework, after school sports, cooking meals, working, trying, pleasing, failing, laughing, crying. Trying to be enough. Trying to get it all done. Trying to beat the clock. Trying to be the best mom. To be the best wife. To juice all the veggies, eat the wheatgrass and hit the gym daily ( okay I’m lying I don’t do that … but my guilty conscience says I should ). Be available for your tribe and not get upset when your man wants to go out with his. Give back to your community, clean the house, do all the groceries. Do, do, do. But here’s what I’ve noticed…that list never really gets done. It just keeps going. Unless we do something. Unless we change our thinking, unless we find a better way. We obviously can’t quit everything, trust me I’ve thought about going on Mom Strike and think I might have even threatened it once or twice, but we can dial back our expectations on some things. And it turns out, the world doesn’t end if you order pizza or if the laundry doesn’t come straight out of the dryer or worse yet if it has to wait another day to get done. Take a sheet for your guy’s playbook and observe and learn. Men know there’s only so much they can do at once. If they have a deadline, the grass doesn’t get cut. It’s that simple and they don’t harbor guilt, in fact, I don’t even think they give it a second thought. Um… something to think about the next time you find yourself overwhelmed praying to the time gods for another few hours.
Take a seat. Take a breath. Take a minute. Take a nap. Take a candlelit bath. Buy yourself some flowers. Take yourself on a date. Take some time to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you might find yourself blowing up on people for no apparent reason. Not that I’d ever do that or anything. But seriously, we’re human and we deserve a break and we deserve to give the other woman fighting the same battle a break too.
Surrender to the slow-it- down. Make time to BE and not DO it’s imperative if you want to innovate and create a life worth living. Push pause and add time for YOU to your own checklist.
Remember: You are worthy. Of great love, great laughter, a great life, more time, a job that moves your soul and a life that has you excited and grateful for the next breath. Extend your hand and accept the invitation to RSVP to your best life, NOW.
If you need some tips or some help getting your life back on track shoot us email and let’s grab a latte and make a plan. firstname.lastname@example.org